Definitely Harmful
by Pterodactyl
Summary: A new kid by the name of Tommy Fablark showed up at Casper High. The first thing that he says to any body is HI, My name Is Tommy Fablark, Your Planet will be destructed in lees than Two of your Weeks. So why is it that no one believes him? H2G2DP Xover
1. Prologue

-1**Disclaimer;** I own nothing of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy nor Danny Phantom. H2G2 is owned by BBC and the late Douglas Adams and DP is owned by Nick and the ingenious Butch Hartman. I WILL NEVER OWN ANYTHING! SO DO NOT COMMENT. I understand that this is almost exactly like the prologue in H2G2 so live with it.

I enjoy long reviews that tell me what I am doing wrong so please no three word reviews. (yes I have gotten a three word review)

Read and Review whoever reads this.

…**who cares…**

Tommy Fablark had recently crashed on the outskirts of a town in the middle of a large land mass that was ever-so-slowly moving along the surface of an insignificant little blue-green planet orbiting at roughly ninety-eight million miles around the star Sol. The star Sol was positioned in the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy, Milky Way.

The rather ignorant dominate life form on the planet were the Hominoid ape-descendant humans who thought that digital watches were still a pretty neat idea. This planet, and its ignorant dominate life form, had a problem. This problem was this: most of the people on the planet were unhappy for pretty much all of the time, a few suggested solutions for the problem consisted of small green slips of paper which was odd considering the fact that on the whole the small green slips of paper were not unhappy. So the problem remained most of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Most of the small green slips of paper were held by a man by the name of Vladimir Masters. Vladimir Masters was not miserable just unhappy, the perfect life for him was owned by another man by the name of Jack Fenton.

This is neither of these men's stories but the story of an intergalactic hitchhiker and his adventures after the crash that brought him to the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy known as The Milky Way, to an insignificant little blue-green planet orbiting at roughly ninety-eight million miles around the star Sol most notably the outskirts of a town in the middle of a large land mass that was ever-so-slowly moving along the surface of the said insignificant little blue-green planet. This town was called Amity Park and they were currently in a state of induced rain caused by a ghost.

This may seem strange for out of town folks but in Amity Park it was perfectly normal to have a weather controlling ghost attacking in the dead of night. It was also normal to see the green blasts fly through the air and explode. Another floating figure dressed in red on a red jet-sled was firing red blasts at the ghost who was shooting green blasts at the weather controlling ghost who was causing the rain. This too was normal.

Tommy Fablark pressed a button on his now crashed space-pod and watched it fold up into a backpack type object. He put it on his back and grabbed his plastic shopping bag with the saying(to anyone who could decipher the Centauian Alphabet)DUTY FREE MEGA-MARKET, PORT BRASTA, ALPHA CENTAURI. BE LIKE THE TWENTY-SECOND ELEPHANT WITH HEATED VALUE IN SPACE--BARK! This bag held his copy of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, his 'thumb', his power source locator, and most importantly his Towel from Marks and Spencer. With that in tow Tommy set off for the nearest apartment complex.

…**who cares…**

**A/N **Okay short even for me but hey it is the prologue. I hope that once the Warrior of Writers Block finds this story he will let free my main story, Reaper, from his dark and evil clutches for me to work on it. Please Review I only need one review and this gets updated. Just like Reaper if you're reading this and haven't read Reaper please do, and don't forget to review.

Pterodactyl


	2. Chapter 1

-1**A/N **Chapter 2 of DH is up. This story will eventually get longer chapters I promise. To my two reviewers Esme Kali Phantom and phantomshadowdragon Thank you. I have already replied to you both, and just as a surprise… This chapter is dedicated to you!

So Enjoy.

…**who cares…**

The rain got steadily worse by the minute. Even though it was nearly midnight there was a few cars on the ,now wet and covered with puddles, road. Specifically a Porsche with a bright red bumper sticker that said "My Other Car Is Also A Porsche". Tommy Fablark was walking next to one of the larger puddles when this Porsche drove right over the puddle and actually managed to get him even wetter than before, which when you think about it is rather difficult.

Tommy, who had never been on earth before, turned forward and waved a hello like he was greeting an old friend. The driver turned around, flipped him the birdie, and drove off.

Eventually Tommy made it to the residential area of Amity Park and while the houses were obviously outfitted with crude shield generators, none were on due to the fact that no one was aware of the battle in the air that, by the time it was done would crash into the parked Porsche, another 3 cars and take out most of Fenton Street again. Tommy watched as the floating figure who was dressed in black pulled out what resembled a thermos and sucked up the weather controlling ghost into it. The Red figure started to shoot at the black one and they both flew off in a high speed aerial chase. He assumed that this was normal for an earth city and had the complete capacity to ignore it.

His "thumb" started to beep. This was good news considering the fact that it only beeped when there was a ship within teleport and communicating distance and it was sending out a message. Tommy instantly held it like a cell phone and listened to what it had to say.

This is what it had to say:

_Hello People of Earth This is Prosthetic Vogon Jelts. In a time of two of your weeks your world will be removed in order to make a hyperspace express route. If you would like to see the plans they are posted in the office of The Hyperspace Planning Committee which is located on the second planet orbiting around the star Alpha Centauri. Thank you, that is all._

Tommy instantly took out his Guide and looked up Earth. All he found was two measly words: Definitely Harmful. He had lain down next to a building to read the guide. He also had a pretty good view of the sky and a sign with the words Fenton Works written in green neon lighting. The black figure flew up to the building and through one of the windows. The window in question then had a blue light in it before settling for a common shade of black.

The area got quiet and Tommy fell asleep.

…**who cares…**

**A/N **If you read this please review because reviewing is fun!

One review and it will be updated someday. If any one notices details from any of the 5 books in here go ahead and say something.

Read from you soon.

Pterodactyl


	3. Chapter 2

-1**A/N** Thanks to all of my reviewers. I have noticed that this story has more reviewing fans than my original story, Reaper, does.

To my Reviewers: I thank you all. If I didn't reply to your review I give you full license to yell at me. And now for the List of Reviewers. Yami-chan and Unrealistic, Rea the Goth Phantom, Esme Kali Phantom, and phantomshadowdragon.

So Here is the Chapter.

…**who cares…**

The next morning was even more wet than the night before this was due to the fact that the water hung in the air. The day was a Thursday it was also seven in the morning. Tommy watched as two humans walked up to the front door of the building titled Fenton Works. The male was wearing a red hat and the female wore black. All of a sudden another young male ran out and greeted the other two. Tommy decided to talk with them.

…**who cares…**

Danny ran out the door in a haste to get away from his father's ecto-batteries. According to his dad they sucked in any extra ghost energy that was hanging around and stored it for later use. Unfortunately for Danny the things had an ecto-meter and as soon as they came near him the stupid batteries started to fill up rather quickly. Jack also had the Ghost-Gabber in his pocket so when he said "Bye dad gotta get to school." the most stupid machine that the Fentons had ever come up with repeated what he had just said and added a "Fear Me." onto the end of it.

Luckily both Tucker and Sam were waiting for him to come outside so Danny continued on to school.

Within seconds the conversation was centered around Ghosts.

"So who was it Danny?" Sam asked rather inquisitively.

"The Box Ghost showed up and once I caught him this Ghost who called herself Narissia showed up and caused it to rain and rain and rain. Right when I was about to catch her Valerie showed up and started to shoot me. While Valerie was shooting me Narissia regained her control over the weather and hit me with about ten lightning bolts. Valerie finally decided to help me and started to shoot Narissia. Once she was weakened I got her in the thermos, Valerie then started to fly after me and we went on a half hour high speed aerial chase that I managed to end when it came back to Fenton Works." Danny was on the verge of ranting when Tucker interrupted him.

"Then I can guess that you didn't finish the report Lancer assigned us." Tucker sounded rather bored at this news. He then pulled out his trusty PDA and filed away Narissia under his copy of The Ghost Files.

"What report?" Danny asked with a hint of confusion in his voice.

"The three page report on the character of Odysseus that was assigned to us last Monday." The informant was Sam.

"That report. Wait, it was about Odysseus! I thought it was about ghosts so I wrote four pages on The Box Ghost." Danny replied almost instantly.

"I can understand why, you were asleep almost the entire class period." Sam once again informed him.

The conversation stopped when the trio saw a kid who was around their age with dirty blond hair that looked a little wind swept (like he had been going at 60 miles per hour with his head stuck out the window) and silvery-grey eyes that instantly reminded anyone of the headlights of a car. The kid walked up to them and smiled, this act made him look even more like a car than anything.

The Kid out stretched his right hand and said in a voice that was rather happy but unfortunately made him sound like a car. "Hello. My name is Tommy Fablark. Your planet will be destroyed in no less than two of your weeks."

…**who cares…**

HA HA behold the most Evil Cliffy that I will ever write. Remember one review and this gets updated. So Review. You know Reviewing is Fun. Read From You People Soon.

Pterodactyl


	4. Chapter 3

I know that it has been a long time since my last update on this. So as a reward for your patience,

Here is a really long chapter!

…**who cares…**

After a really long rather awkward pause Tucker yelled out "Dude did you just say that the world is going to be blown up in two weeks?"

"Yes." Tommy responded very calmly almost as if he were discussing the weather.

"Who are you and where the heck are you from?" The question directed towards Tommy from a strangely confused Sam.

"Again my name is Tommy Fablark." This resulted in a blank stare from Tucker "I am from A small satellite from the near Vicinity of Betelgeuse 7." Tucker dropped his PDA "I crash landed on this planet after running out of my supply of Alterian Dollars." Tuckers jaw fell open with a mental clang "Hey I only had enough to last me 3 days at 30 dollars a day. I am just lucky that these things are rechargeable." Tucker finally realized that he dropped his PDA.

Tucker bent down over the fallen PDA and started to stroke it and pet it all the while cooing to it a soft lullaby "No! My baby! Daddy's here, daddy loves you, yes he does."

"OK, erm, my name is Danny and this is Sam and Tucker" Danny somehow took the news better than his best friend did "Tommy why don't you come inside my house while I go get my parents."

Danny then proceeded to open the creaky door. The same door that his father had ripped off it's hinges about thirty times. The same door that Skulker had shot two days previously. His thought process was stopped before it got any more graphic. "MOM! DAD!" Danny yelled quite loudly for all to hear who still lived on Fenton Street.

Jack came running in first orange jumpsuit and all. "What is it. Is it a ghost?" He jumped to conclusions very quickly once he saw Tommy. "Hey who are you. Are you a ghost?" The questions were supposed to be a threat. However he really was not all that threatening as he was only holding a strange looking tracking device. The man still felt the need to yell. "Maddie get the Fenton Anti creep stick STAT!"

Some scuffling was heard before a woman in a nice teal jumpsuit came running in with a baseball bat with the word Fenton in bright neon green lettering on the side. "Yes Sweetie." Maddie then proceeded to put the bat down as the situation came into focus for her.

Tommy, who had been hiding behind Danny after Jack's 'Hello' moved at the sight of the female Ghost Hunter. "Hello, My name is Tommy Fablark." The alien pointed towards the black and green cylinder in Jacks hands and asked, "Wow what is that and how does it work?"

Sam and Tucker shared a look that probably meant something along the lines of _Oh no the 'Alien' asked the forbidden question, the horrific 'What is that and how does it work' to Jack, the man that was known to blather for five hours straight. _Sam said the one thing that could be said in a situation like this. "Lets run."

"Yes Lets." Tucker responded with an agreeing nod. And a light stroke to his PDA.

"Tommy. Good luck getting away from my parents after a question like that. I need to get to school." The Ghost Gabber in Jack's hand repeated the line 'I need to get to school with a little added bonus, a Fear me! At the end. "Sam, Tucker Wait up!" Danny said as he ditched his parents conversation about the current subject The Ghost Gabber. I never got to ask you, should I ask Paullina, or Valerie to the dance tomorrow night?"

"How about neither." Sam added in with a lethal glare towards Danny. "Paullina is a slimy witch from another dimension and I still really don't understand why the heck do you even want to go out with a girl that hates your guts." She then folded her arms into a position that clearly showed that she wanted an answer. Danny as a clueless nimrod ignored it.

"Hey man, I say go for Paullina." Tucker grinned as he gave his advice. "But it is your decision in the end. I'll see you at school. Good Luck with the BG thing today in third."

"Are you sure that you don't want me to fly you guys to school." Danny's offer stayed in the air for a few seconds until Tucker spoke up.

"Na go save Tommy from the evil clutches of your dad's rants. We will tell Lancer that you got held up with a Foreign Exchange Student that asked your Dad about one of the inventions. I think that after the Walker incident he knows just how crazy your father can get when talking about the paranormal."

…**who cares…**

"So young man, your name is Tommy." Jack said with an approving look. Maddie left to the basement to continue her research on nitric acid and Ectoplasm. "Well this device is the Ghost Gabber mark 38." The oaf of a man started to shake the device in front of Tommy's face like an immature child. "I cant wait to get my hands on the spook who keeps on blowing it up." Added as an after thought the line received an odd look from Tommy. "It is a translator for humans. When a ghost says something within radius it automatically translates it into every day common English."

"Then why does it key into Danny?" Tommy asked with a thoughtful sound.

"The calibration on it has been screwed up since the first one we made about 11 months ago. In other words the initial machine is broken and for the life of the Fenton Family I cant figure out what the heck is wrong with it." Jack went into about as much detail as he could before Tommy asked something else.

"What are those?"

"These babies are the newest invention to come from the hands of a Fenton." Jack held the battery like it was a small child. "The Fenton Ecto-batteries. They find energy in the environment that is outputted by ghosts and transform it into storable, portable, and useable energy."

"Neat! Do you have any other inventions?" Tommy asked this out of pure ignorance of what could happen if he asked the dreaded question. Of all the stuff that Mr. Fenton said he had understood all of it. Right down to the inter-dimensional fabrication of energies through utilizing space rips for travel.

"Of course I do but most everything else is too dangerous for anyone to see."

…**who cares…**

"Tommy!" Danny rushed into the house with an almost panicked look. "Oh there you are. Come on. I have decided to take you to school with me as a Foreign Exchange Student from England." Danny grabbed the only other teenager in the house by the arm and proceeded to leave the room.

Jack still was intent on ghost weaponry so he tried to persuade Danny into taking a blaster rather bluntly. "Danny. Here take an ecto-blaster."

"Dad I don't need one I already have a thermos." the black haired teen responded rather quickly as if he had said this every day for almost a year.

"It wont protect you against the really strong willed specters." again the script was played out with a strange clarity for any human living in Amity Park for any more than two months.

"I also have two insta-paralyzers that you forced me into taking." more of the script was played out however this one section had to be thought about as it was a new addition. Tommy looked as if he was watching a Ping Pong tournament.

"That will work son." Jack noted with content, knowing full on well that those paralizers could knock out any ghost under a 7.5 on the ecto-scale. "Be sure to protect Tommy from any violent specters. Especially that Phantom he is the worst of em all." Tommy stared at jack until Danny finally pulled him out of the room successfully.

"Yea, yea, Dad I'll see you after 5." Danny saw the glare his father had directed towards him and added a small after thought. "With Tommy in store."

The two rushed out the door before Jack could say anything. Danny started to fill Tommy in on what the school would probably be like and repeatedly told him not to say anything about the planet being blown up in the near future. The rest of the long walk to school was carried out in silence.

…**who cares…**

**A/N **I think that that is a good stopping point. Next chapter is going to be School and Mr. Lancer. Bum. Bum. Bum. Every detail in the chapter has a meaning so pay attention and pick through it until it is clean as a skeleton that has been lying in a temperate climate for 50 years. Behold one of my jokes from my common language. HA HA! Now thanks to my reviewers:

**Esme Kali Phantom: **I hope that this answered any and all questions about the story that I may or may not have already answered.

**Phantomshadowdragon: **The humor only gets better. Sorry for not replying to the review at the time that I got it the messaging service was down.

**Unrealistic: **I think that I did reply to the review. Sorry if it caused any mishaps. The next chapter is here any way.

One review and this is guaranteed to be updated.

So, I'll read from you soon.

Pterodactyl


	5. Chapter 4

-1**…who cares…**

"And look out for Dash Baxter he is the school Bully." Danny continued "I know for a fact that he has at least 25 people on his 'F-List' and 15 of his favorites on his 'D-list' and his 5 favorites on his 'C-List'." While his small ramble on Dash went on Tommy quickly caught sight of a blue skinned overall clad ghost with a stupid looking cap on his head float into a box store that was incidentally down the alley that they had just passed. "I believe the number of people in one locker that he has gotten in at one time is four, and oh no." Danny had just sensed a ghost.

The only other hominoid creature around asked a blatantly obvious question. "Oh no What?" Tommy looked over at Danny only to see his eyes moving rapidly in search of something.

"We've got a ghost." He replied in an almost whisper.

"Oh you mean the Spectral entity that had on blue overalls a plaid shirt and a cap who floated into the Box store that is down that alley?" Tommy asked with a questioning semi-glare.

"Oh good it is just him." Danny visibly relaxed before turning to hurry on to the school. "We can just keep going and hope that he doesn't try to 'Scare' us.

Tommy stopped for a second to think before continuing onward at a hurried pace.

…**who cares…**

Tucker and Sam sneaked through the halls toward the doorway that had the number 325. The Janitor could give out late detentions that were commonly worse than the ones that Lancer gave Danny after a ghost fight. Unfortunately they were late often enough that he knew their names, all three of them.

"Ms. Manson, Mr. Foley." They both turned around to see the towering grey-clad janitor with a mop standing behind them. They were caught. By the Janitor none the less. "I assume that you have some plausible excuse for being Late to your first period class." he said after a short pause.

"Why Yes We D…" Tucker started up rather strongly until Sam elbowed him in the gut.

"I'll handle this one Tucker." She reassured Tucker that she had a good story of why they were late. "Danny just got a new Foreign Exchange Student from England and he asked Mr. Fenton about one of his inventions." Sam took a breath during which Tucker took up the talking.

"Easily one of the stupidest things that anyone from anywhere on earth could do." Tuckers lines were rather pointless except for the fact that if the janitor stopped you while taking a break during the explanation of why you were late you were instantly sent to ISS. "We were standing in the line of capture for a really long ramble about the ghost Gabber. Sam continued on with the explanation "Fortunately Danny stepped in and saved us of missing the whole day of school but Tommy, the Foreign Exchange Student, asked another question about Ghost Tek and got stuck there with Danny. I think that they are on their way." Sam finished her explanation yet was still uptight about the upcoming answer to the speech.

"Fine I will let this one slide. But only If this _Tommy_ shows up _with_ _Danny_ today in between First and Second Period. If not, then all three of you will be in for a very long line of Detentions." Sam and Tucker let their held breath go "Now run along to Mr. Felucca's class before I write you a detention anyway." He had also memorized their class schedules. The two of them ran off to room 325 in a hurry.

Tucker called back a "Yes Jason." before continuing down the hall. After all it was always good to be polite to anyone who had that much power in the school. It was rumored that he gave Dash his first and only Detention. Not to mention the fact that it scared the Football Jockness out of him for a week.

…**who cares…**

"Hello Mr. Fenton, I am So glad that you could join us for class. Would you care to explain to us how you came to be late." The rather short teacher incriminated Danny as he and Tommy both walked in the Door. Her glasses fell down off of her nose and onto her lap. She then took them and placed them back on her rather crooked nose, where they quickly fell off again.

"Actually I have a valid reason other than the Bathroom or a Doctors appointment. Mrs. Learnknot." Danny said in a rather matter of fact tone. "This is Tommy Fablark. He is a foreign Exchange Student from England. He will be staying with us for Two weeks." Mrs. Learnknot put her thick black rimmed glasses on her nose where they, once again, fell off.

"Hi Teaching Unit of apparent lack of any stature." Danny nudged him to be a little more respectful. Mrs. Learnknot gave him an annoyed look. "Honk Honk." Tommy 'Honked' in annoyance at Danny's interruption. He then continued on with what he was going to say. "It says in the Guide that Human Teachers are quite possibly the worst at teaching any Foreign languages because they don't have a good appreciation of the language that they are teaching in the first place." Mrs. Learnknot glared at him with yet more vigor even though her glasses fell off of her face again. Tommy continued on with the rant. "It also says that Math teachers are yet even worse because they ramble on about things that they think that you should know but don't." The teacher looked absolutely livid at this and by now the class was completely silent. The rant continued even further "English Teachers are possibly the most useless teachers." Tommy took a small break at this point for dramatic tension. He had noticed the number of kids watching the spectacle and wanted to give them a show. Mrs. Learnknot was shaking in barely controlled rage. "What is the point of learning a language that you are already fluent in." The class was now awaiting the end of the monumental speech by the newcomer who had broken just about every unwritten law of the relationship between a teacher and their student. "Science Teachers are also quite frequently wrong about everything that they say. Especially Physics Teachers." The teacher was by now taking deep breaths to obviously keep from killing the foreign exchange student. Most of the people in the class were gaping. Danny was utterly speechless. If he was like this toward Mrs. Learnknot how would he react to Lancer? Tommy forged onward. "History Teachers are very difficult to not make fun of because they are horribly easy to trick. They always say that they understand human nature better than most but I really want to actually see one stop a prank" Mrs. Learnknot was almost hyperventilating while shaking with fury. "And Computer Sciences Teachers are completely incompetent. Any two year old can out use a computer in five minutes that would take any of them two years to even analyze." At this it was too much for the teacher and she snapped. Mrs. Learnknot jumped out of her chair and her glasses flew off her face and fell on the ground and broke. Tommy finished up his rant with one final jab. "In the great opinion of the Guide, Teachers are annoying stupid beings."

"Well _Tommy_!" Mrs. Learnknot yelled quite loudly, all of her cavity ridden teeth visible. Spit flecks were flying out at an impressive rate. "I just happen to be a Computer Science Teacher." her voice cracked and then went down an entire octave. "I feel highly insulted at your words. Almost all of my friends are Teachers." She continued to yell now at an off-key baritone as apposed to her usually uptight, high pitched, squeaky, soprano voice. "So I am going to give you a very deserving Detention for your little outburst." She too waited a dramatic pause. "5 hours, with me, on Saturday, fixing the broken Computers." Some of the class gasped. 5 hours was a maximum punishment. And on a Saturday too! It was an unspeakable crime. Especially on the Day of the Dance.

"Hey, Can we make it next week's Saturday instead." Tommy then switched to another tactic. Annoy and Question. "That way I can divert all of my attention to fixing your 'Broken' computers." His emphasis on Broken did not go unheard.

"No." Mrs. Learnknot's voice was now back to normal. However most of the class had their hands up over their mouths and were hardly containing their laughter.

"Why not?" Tommy's question provoked an immediate and unplanned answer out of the teacher.

"Because I don't have the next Saturday free." She immediately regretted saying it.

Immediately Tommy asked an improvisational question. He was about ready to start using the Why, Why, Why, tactic, just to annoy this particular teacher. Any and all teachers that he ran into today were going to get a wake up call. After all he was just getting warmed up. "Hey Just out of curiosity why don't you have next Saturday off?"

"Students have no need of such information." Mrs. Learnknot responded quickly.

"Why do students have no need of such information?" Here it is The Why, Why, Why, tactic.

"You young man are not about to out wit me with your questions." She calmed herself down in time to see what he was doing.

"What Questions?" Tommy feigned ignorance. Right after the Why, Why, Why, tactic and it worked perfectly.

Mrs. Learnknot finally became fed up with Tommy Fablark so in her logic it was time to yell at the one other student in the front of the room. "Mr. Fenton Please just go take your seat with Fablark and get him caught up on the current assignments. Class, GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Oh yea, she was PISSED!

"Yes Mrs. Learnknot." The class responded in an unenthusiastic monotone. Even through their snickering smiles.

…**who cares…**

**A/N **I believe that there is a good spot to stop it my hand is now really tired. I will also say that I will be going on a Computer Free 10 day vacation to an unnamed place (by parents orders).

I truthfully don't agree with The Guide on the Subject of Teachers. Or at least not all of them. I have had some really bad ones in the past. AKA the ones that went into Mrs. Learnknot.

If the Chapter offended you at all. Go ahead and tell me in a Review. However I am happy with this chapter and because of this it will not be changed. I will change my Writing style in the next chapter to not offend any of you who complain. I really don't want to be kicked off of previous reviewers know who they are. I would like to give them all, (Dramatic Pause) A gigantic bouquet of origami Flowers!!!!

One Review and I am guaranteed to update someday.

So Review, Review like the wind!

Read from you all soon!

Pterodactyl


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